"New Mamas Get Nothing Done"....

10/01/2014

New Mothers Get Nothing Done #CoffeeTalk — a Modern Mrs.
It has been a long time since I had a newborn. Nine and half years to be exact. I don't recall much of the day-to-day moments from those days, but I feel like I was able to tackle more than I can this time around. Granted, no two babies are the same, and that definitely holds true when it comes to my two girls. What does that mean exactly? It means I'm doing a whole lot of holding and not a lot of much else. But you know what? As they say, I ain't even mad.

Between nursing, diaper changes, sleep wrangling and general comforting, I don't feel like I get anything done around, or outside of, the house. I try to get in some quality time with L {which these days means watching a lot of t.v. together, as I'm usually confined to the sofa}, complete at least one load of laundry, maybe clean something, but generally I'm just lucky if I get to eat or drink anything. My day, baby-related matters aside, is considered successful if I've managed to shower, do my hair, and make my bed before 12pm.

Where am I going with this? Well, today during a nursing session, I was browsing on my phone and stumbled across this article, which is titled, "New mamas get nothing done (and other untruths)." I strongly encourage you to read this, especially if you're a first-time mom! Basically, the gist of the article is that while you may not get the laundry done, the errands ran, dinner cooked, or even manage to change out of your poop/pee/spit-up-soaked pajamas from last night, that's okay! Even if you're frequently couch-bound with a fussy and/or needy baby, you're doing important work! Sure, it can't be measured by a salary or a fancy title {though I think "Mom" is a pretty fancy title}, but it can be measured by the coos, smiles, and general contentment your little one shows and feels for you. These days may be long, but they're numbered. Today only happens once, which is why it's called a present, so don't squander it with anxieties over dirty clothes, dirty dishes, or what your friends/relatives/neighbors may think of what you are, or are not, doing with your time. As the saying goes, "Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, and happy kids."

Now, I will say, as a mom with OCD, that saying can be quite difficult to find comfort in. I can't stand a sticky floor, or a messy anything, but I truly had to come to terms with what I am physically capable of doing, and learn to let go. If I only have 30 minutes where I can get anything done in the entire day, I'm going to spend it showering and doing my hair. Why? Because I need to have something for me, and that's it, and that's okay. If my baby girl needs me to hold her for hours at a time, fine. She won't be this small forever, she won't need me forever, so I'm going to hold her happily, stare at her beautiful little face, and soak it all in. {All while binging on seasons of whatever I can find on the Roku.}

As the writer of the article, Anne Rust, said:
As much as you need and want a break now (and you should take one, more on that later), no mother has ever looked back on this time and thought, “I wish I had held my baby less.” You will not remember the dishes that didn’t get done, the vacuuming that you just couldn’t make happen, or the dirty clothes you wore more often than you’d like to admit. You will remember the first smile, the first belly laugh, the first words, the first steps. You will remember the way you looked at your baby, and the way your baby looked at you.
And with that, I will take my leave. I hope you found as much comfort with this as I did, and if you haven't already, do head over to MamaSeeds and read the article. {Tell her I sent you!} It really is an inspiring and uplifting read.
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