Trust Yourself

6/05/2014

Trust Yourself — A Modern Mrs.
We mothers tend to be quite hard on ourselves, don't we? We are our harshest critic, and it's easy to get caught up in what we did or didn't do, said or didn't say, but is it really an issue? Do our kids think we're a bad mom? Most likely not. I will be the first to admit I've made mistakes. I've lost my temper, shouted... all of the "typical" things we come down on ourselves about when we lay our heads down at night. Are we making the right decisions? How can we be better? We want to be better.

Where am I going with this? I am one of those moms that when bedtime rolls around is laying in bed judging myself over my shortcomings of the day. I'm not perfect, don't claim to be, and know I will never be. But, I can continue to try my best. Am I a terrible mother? Absolutely not! How do I know this? Because my child tells me how awesome she thinks I am, continues to show me love and affection and desire my presence, and is simply a well-adjusted child, so I must be doing something right... right?

Last night while browsing Twitter for new people to follow, I came across the following tweet:
RT @FocusParenting: Trust yourself as a parent. You know more than you think you do. — Kristen {AModernMrs} (@AModernMrs) June 4, 2014
and it really made me stop and realize.... it's really that simple.

Sure, I can regret a harsh word or action from the day, and continue to strive to be better about that in the future, but the constant wondering if I'm doing the right thing? That's going to stop. I have always trusted my instincts when it comes to my child, and I know it's only natural to doubt oneself because we wholeheartedly want what's best for our kids. However, that tweet had me thinking the rest of the night, and was the first thing I thought of this morning {after thinking I really miss sleeping comfortably... or at all}, and it inspired me to feel even that much better/stronger about my decisions. I am doing what's best for my child, and I'm doing a darn good job!

Whenever I get feeling too bad about myself, I remember something J said to me when L was two years old. Something had happened between she and I, and I was upset because I hadn't been the kindest in my response. I mean, I was really upset because I felt like a horrible mother. So there we are, laying in bed, and I asked him if he thought I was a bad mother. {I genuinely thought he thought I was terrible because I wasn't soft spoken or gentle in that situation.} I'll never forget his reply. He said, and this is the closest recount of his exact words seven years later, "The fact that you're concerned enough to wonder if you're a bad mother means you're a good mother." He followed with something like, "Bad mothers don't care, and wouldn't be thinking about their actions later." I remember it making me feel so much better then, and it continues to comfort me in times of doubt and guilt.

The fact of the matter is, there's no manual for parenting. Not really. Sure, there are some doctors or "gurus" who think they know it all, but they don't. Seasoned parents, like our own parents, are the closest thing we have to "experts," and even they'll tell you they didn't always know what they were doing. {Well, if they're honest with you they will.} The only thing our kids can ask for is that we do our best. When they're grown, they'll have come to realize we aren't perfect, but they'll also realize that's okay, and they'll appreciate that we did our best.

As the quote above says, "There [is] no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a great one." So keep on keepin' on, folks. Don't sweat the small stuff, keep trying your best, and rest in knowing your kids love you just the way you are. Everyone makes mistakes. The kids will act up, we'll get upset, but if you love your kids and keep trying to do the best you possibly can by them, it will all be okay. I promise.

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