Journey to Baby #2: Part 2

2/19/2013

Previously....

After miscarrying, and after I felt I had gotten over it as best one can, we decided to start trying. We tried for a year, using ovulation tests and obeying all the tips you read and hear about {because everyone has the "trick" to getting pregnant quickly}, but nothing. I went to the doctor, a different one than who I'm currently seeing, and he ordered some tests then put me on Clomid. I took a dose of that, it didn't work, then J proposed and we took a year off to plan and get married. During that time I went in for my yearly with another doctor and discovered I have a tilted cervix. How this other doctor never noticed or bothered to tell me is beyond me, and is actually quite frightening, but there we were. She gave us some new instructions on how better to conceive, and after our wedding, we started trying again. Yet again, another year went by, and here we are, baby-less.... {If you missed Part 1, please click here!}
Journey to Baby #2: Part 2 — A Modern Mrs.
L, May 2006 - 13 months old
Creeping up on another year mark, I called my doctor to see if there was anything she could do to help us out. I was nervous... Fearful of what she may say, and those fears were realized when she so carelessly blew me off. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

She came into the room and asked me why I was there. I told her it had been just about a year since I saw her last, and we haven't had any luck getting pregnant. {Obviously...} I asked her, "Is there anything you can do for us?" She asked me if I was charting, or using ovulation tests, and a few other questions. I told her yes, we had been using the tests, and I had charted a while back but was no longer doing so. Then the appointment went south. "You're ovulating on your own, so there's nothing I can give you. You'll need to contact Shady Grove Infertility about IVF." What?? That's it? Just like that? I was not satisfied. I asked several questions, to which she replied, "We could check to see if your tubes are closed, but no matter the result you'll still need IVF." What?! I told her that we didn't have that kind of money, and that was when I assumed our insurance would pay something towards the procedure. She told me the center had a program where I could donate an egg for a discount. A discount?! For a maybe? That would still be upwards of $6,000, that we don't have, for a small shot at getting pregnant. I didn't like those odds.

I was hurt, annoyed, angry. Her whole demeanor.. she was blowing me off. She was ready to blow me off as soon as she walked in. She was so quick to mention Shady Grove. So quick to send me there rather than offer to do another test, or make a suggestion, or even really talk to me. There could be so many other things! To tell me I have "unexplained infertility", like that's nothing and then nonchalantly recommend a $12,000+ procedure that doesn't yield a guaranteed result? What?! How come we can't get pregnant when I, we, have been pregnant before? There has to be a way, and I'm obviously not going to get anywhere here.

This is not the first time I've been burned by a doctor. The people we're supposed to trust....

I went home in tears, but with a mission. There had to be something! If not a cause, then a cure. However, I decided to call my insurance company to see what they did cover regarding infertility. Couldn't hurt to check, right? Well, they quickly informed me that our plan doesn't cover anything infertility. No tests, no second opinions, nothing. I called again to get something else, hoping that person was wrong, but I got the same answer. It was as if a door had been slammed in my face. Not once, but twice, then was locked and disappeared. I was devastated. I felt as if there had been a chance, but now it was gone.

I grieved a bit. Took a few hours to wallow in my grief, then got angry. {It's part of the process.} There had to be something! I wanted another child. Needed just one more child. This had to happen, and with nothing to tell me there legitimately wasn't a way, I had to figure it out myself. I had some GI problems a few years ago, and despite the several doctors I saw and tests that were performed, I corrected that with diet alone. Perhaps the same could be done for infertility? I Googled like I'd never Googled before. So many tabs. So many websites. Taking bits from each one that made sense and going on another, yet related, search. Like a chain... starting at one point and hopping along as if on a trail. I was noticing a trend... several websites and comments mentioned Paleo, and how they got pregnant shortly after starting the diet. Interesting. What is Paleo.....

{Please click here for Part 3!}

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6 comments

  1. I'm sorry your dr just blew you off :( I hope you get some results with the Paleo diet.

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  2. It's a tragedy, really. They must be making a fortune in finder's fees. >.<

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  3. Oh dr's love not caring and referring you, because they get money for the referrals. I can count on one hand the amount of dr's that have great bedside manner, its really sad.

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  4. It really is! There are no words for the shame that is medicine nowadays.

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  5. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. If there's anyone in the world that deserves another baby, it's you. <3

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