Her Hand in Mine

1/04/2013

Sometimes, when we're driving in the car, I'll reach back and hold her hand. It's not the most comfortable thing in the world, and often times my arm falls asleep within a minute or two, but she loves it. I'll do it when I'm thinking about her (even though she's in the back seat), or when we're talking about something and I can't hug her because I'm driving, or just because. She'll lean forward and I'll feel her soft, still somewhat tiny hand gently squeeze mine. For those few moments, even though we're in the car, my world stands still. I think to myself, "I need to soak this in. The look. The feel. Her little squeezes," and her considerately asking me if I'm comfortable.

While on our way home from school yesterday, I reached back to hold her hand. We've done it time and time before, but this time it struck me... I need to write this down, so I can look back a day, a week, months, and years down the road to remind myself how she looked. What she was doing.

These seven years have gone by so quickly! No matter how hard I try to take in every moment, the hustle of everyday life often gets in the way, and I forget to pause, and before I know it a month has gone by. I remember savoring every minute of her day when she was smaller. Then school started, and WHOOSH! Three years have gone by. Before I know it she'll be in middle school, then high school, then an adult, and off on her own.

I can't bear the thought.

She's my first-born, my little girl, me duplicated. I almost died bringing her into this world. I would do anything for her. Tomorrow's no guarantee, so let me sit here and relish in that simple moment of yesterday.

Self, try to set more time aside each day to soak her in. Make note of everything about that moment. The looks, the sounds, the feelings. Etch it into your heart and brain and hold onto it. Remember the mom you want to be, the mom God wants you to be, and try your hardest no matter what is going on or needs to be done. Hold her hand as often as you can, for as long as you can.

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2 comments

  1. Love this post! And I agree these moments go by so quickly. I sometimes forget I have a 10 year old where has the time gone?

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